An
interview with Darla Weaver,
Author
of Gathering of Sisters
Once a week Darla Weaver hitches
up her spirited mare, bundles her children into the buggy, and drives six miles
to the farm where she grew up. There she gathers with her four sisters and
their children for a day with their mother. In Gathering of Sisters: A Year with My Old Order Mennonite Family (Herald
Press), Weaver writes about her horse-and-buggy Mennonite family and the weekly
women’s gatherings that keep them connected. On warm days, the children play
and fish and build houses of hay in the barn. In the winter, everyone stays
close to the woodstove, with puzzles and games and crocheting. No matter the
weather, the Tuesday get-togethers of this Old Order Mennonite family keep them
grounded and centered in their love for God and for each other, even when
raising an occasional loving but knowing eyebrow at each other.
The rest of the week is full of
laundry, and errands, and work that never ends. But Tuesday is about being
sisters, daughters, and mothers.
There were five of us sisters, growing up together with our
four little brothers in the white farmhouse our parents built. The nine of us
kept this five-bedroom house brimming with life, and crowded with both
happiness and some inevitable sadness. We did a lot of living and a lot of
learning in that house.
And then we all grew up.
I was the first to leave. On a warm and sunshiny day in
September 2000, after the leaves on the lofty silver maples had faded from
summer-green and before they wore brightly flaming autumn shades, I was married
to Laverne Weaver. It was the first wedding in that mellowing white house we
all called home. Four more were to follow in the next several years. Except for
my youngest brother, we’ve all left home. Most of us live close, but one
brother lives in Alaska.
Q: Why did
you decide to make an effort to get together once a week?
That left
Tuesdays. Tuesday really was the perfect in-between sort of day to spend with
Mom and my sisters. On Tuesday the five us sisters still come home. We pack up
the children—all eighteen of them during summer vacation—and head to the farm.
We go
early. I drive my spirited little mare, Charlotte, and she trots briskly along
the six miles of winding country roads. Regina and Ida Mae live much closer.
They married brothers, and their homes are directly across the fields from Dad
and Mom’s farm. They usually bike, with children’s noses pressed against the
bright mesh of the carts they tow behind their bicycles. Or they walk, pushing
strollers over the back fields and up the lane. And Emily and Amanda, who also
married brothers and live in neighboring houses about five miles away, come
together with everyone crammed into one carriage.
Q: Do all
the kids enjoy Tuesdays as well?
The children love Tuesdays. On warm days they play on the slide
and the swings in the cool shade of the silver maples, jump on the trampoline,
run through their grandpa’s three greenhouses, ride along on the wagon going to
the fields where produce by the bushels and bins is hauled to the packing shed.
They build hay houses in the barn and explore the creek. The boys take poles
and hooks and bait and spend hours fishing and playing in the small creek that
flows beneath the lane and through the thickets beside the pasture fence. They
catch dozens of tiny blue gills and northern creek chubbs, most of which they
release back into the water hole, a deep pool that yawns at the mouth of a
large culvert, to be caught again next week. They work too, at mowing lawn,
raking, lugging flower pots around, or anything else that Grandma needs them to
do, but most often Tuesdays on Grandpa’s farm are play days.
Q: What do
you do when you are all gathered together?
Every day
is different, yet every Tuesday follows a predictable pattern that varies with
the seasons. Winter finds us inside, close to the
warmth humming from the woodstove, absorbed in wintertime pursuits which
include card-making, crocheting, sewing, puzzles—jigsaw, crossword, sudoku—and
reading books and magazines. But as soon as spring colors the buds of the
maples with a reddish tinge, we spend more time outside. The greenhouses are
loaded with plants, the flowerbeds full of unfurling perennials, and the grass
is greening in the yard again.
In summer, while the garden and fields burst with produce,
the breezy shade of the front porch calls. It wraps around two sides of the
house and is full of Mom’s potted plants and porch furniture. We sit there to
shell peas, husk corn, or just sip a cold drink and cool off after a warm
stroll through the flowers.
Then autumn echoes through the country, the leaves flame and
fall, and we rake them up—millions of leaves. Where we rake one Tuesday is
covered again by the next, until at last the towering maples stand disrobed of
leaves, their amazing seventy-foot branches a wavering fretwork against a sky
that is sullen with winter once more.
Now
onto some frequently asked questions about life in Mennonite communities.
Q: What does
daily life look like for a Mennonite?
In some ways being a Mennonite is not so different from
being anyone else. We have one life to live, we work to make a living, take
care of our families, make time for the things we enjoy, eat, sleep, pay our
bills and taxes. Some days are better than others as for anyone else.
In other ways it’s vastly different from the culture around
us. Partly in the conservative way we live; perhaps even more in the way we
look at life.
The most important goals for most of us are: Faith in God
and in his Son who died on the cross for sinners; growing into a closer walk
with him; learning to love, serve, and obey his commandments. These beliefs
help shape our lives as we grow older.
Old Order Mennonite life is family-oriented. It centers
around our church, our families, our schools and neighborhoods. It has been
said, “Destroy the home and you destroy the nation,” which has been proved true
in various eras of history. God’s plan for one husband and one wife, working
together to care for their children, is a most important foundation for our
lifestyle.
But, of course, we are far from perfect. Although the
majority of us strive to live lives that demonstrate a faith and love and
steadfastness rooted deep in God and his word—the Bible—we make plenty of
mistakes too. Stumbling and falling and getting up to try again, praying that
God will help us do better tomorrow, is a part of life, too.
Q: Do Old
Order Mennonites believe in the new birth?
Of course. We believe the Bible truth: “Except a man be born
again, he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3).
It is when one believes that Jesus Christ is the Son of God
that God’s Spirit comes into one’s heart. It is by repenting of and turning
away from our sins that they can be forgiven. It is by faith in God’s power,
and asking in prayer, help us break away from sin’s strongholds. And it is
because of that new birth that we desire to live a life that God can bless and
sanctify.
But those who grow up in Christian homes may not always be
able to pinpoint a certain day or year when their new birth occurred. To say,
“When were you born again?” is a little like asking, “When did you grow up?”
Sometimes there is a specific date to remember. Just as often there isn’t,
because we grew so gradually into the awareness of our need for a personal
Savior.
Was there ever a time I didn’t know and believe that Jesus
Christ is the Son of God who came to die for my sins? If so, I can’t remember
it. I did have to come to the place where I was willing to accept that for
myself, acknowledge all the sin in my life, and turn to God for help and
forgiveness. That day came, gradually. When I asked Christ into my heart to be
Ruler there, it led to more years of growing up, and into what it means to be
one of his disciples.
When I was born physically I still had much to learn. When I
was born again spiritually I had just as much to learn about living a
Christ-centered life. I’m still learning about it. I imagine I’ll be learning
more for as long as I live.
Q: What
could a visitor expect at one of your church services?
Church services last around 2 to 2 ½ hours and are in the
Pennsylvania Dutch dialect, although the Bible reading is done in German. They begin
with everyone singing together. One of the ministers then has a short sermon,
which is followed by silent prayer. Then a second minister explains a chapter
from the New Testament, or part of a chapter that he had selected and studied
previously. Services are closed with an audible prayer, more singing, and the
benediction.
It’s a special time of singing, praying, and worshiping God
together with our congregation, and is full of encouragement and inspiration.
Q: Throughout
most of the country, we would find most businesses open at least part of the
day on Sunday. Would we find any businesses in your community open on Sunday?
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt
though labour and do all thy work” (Exodus 20:8-9).
When Sunday comes around, those of us who own businesses do
close them, and most of our work is put aside. Sunday is kept as a day to go to
church to worship God, then spend it socializing with family and friends. It is
a day to get together for meals, visit families who have a new baby, or just
relax at home.
Sometimes when it’s warm we go fishing or hiking at nearby
state parks or in our own woods. Sometimes we go on picnics or visit the
neighbors. In the evening, the youth group gathers at one of their homes to
play volleyball, sing and eat.
Sunday is set aside for worship, rest, and family time. It’s
refreshing, both spiritually and physically, to have one day each week reserved
for that. Work almost always waits. Worshiping God is first priority, then
being with family.
Q: What kind
of activities are your youth groups involved in?
Most of the young people are part of a structured youth
group that gathers each Sunday evening in one of their homes. If it’s warm they
play volleyball before singing hymns. A snack is served, unless everyone is
invited for supper, then an entire meal is served. This can be quite an
undertaking for the hostess, depending on the size of the group.
While Sunday evening gatherings are a regular thing, there
are sometimes “work bees” during the week, when they get together to help
someone who needs it. They might go to sing at a nursing home, go skating in
winter, fishing in summer, or other upbuilding activities.
The majority of the young people are a part of this group
and are dedicated to serving God. However, the upper teen years can be hard
whether you’re Mennonite or not, and there are always some who drift away and
choose not to live as part of our culture.
Q: Can you
tell us about your private schools?
Parochial schools are a vital part of our neighborhoods.
Three men serve as the school board for each one, and they are in charge of
hiring teachers, handling the financial part of running a school, upkeep of the
building, and any other need that comes up. They serve in three-year terms and
are up for one re-election at the regular yearly community meeting where all
directors and trustees for various things are selected.
Most schoolhouses have two classrooms and two teachers. The
number of children attending each one varies greatly. Parents pay a yearly
tuition which covers the teachers’ pay, books and supplies, and building
repairs.
Most children start first grade in September after their
sixth birthday. They graduate after completing eighth grade.
Each school day starts with a Bible story, reciting the
Lord’s prayer together and singing. Lessons include, but are not limited to,
reading, writing, math, spelling, English, vocabulary, history, geography, some
science and nature study. Curriculum varies a little from school to school and
from one area to the next, but these are the basics.
My review...
Weaver gives the reader an inside look at her family, and
the Plain (Old Order Mennonite) lifestyle, in her latest release. She shares
the time she spent gathering with her sisters on Tuesdays, with each chapter
depicting a different month. The stories are easy to visualize, allowing the
reader to feel a part of the community/family. It’s easy to see that people, in
general, are more alike than they are different. Some parts feel a bit
disjointed, but for someone wanting to learn more about the followers of this
religion, it is informative. Bible verses and even some recipes are included.
(I look forward to trying the German Pizza, page 145, Mock Ham Balls, page 247,
and Walnut Frosties, page 254). There is a section entitled “A Day in the Life
of the Author” which is very information, as is the Appendix, where the author
provides some FAQs about the Old Order Mennonites.
Disclaimer: I received
a complimentary copy as part of the Read with Audra blog tour/from the publisher. I wasn’t required to leave a positive review.
About the Author
Darla
Weaver is a homemaker,
gardener, writer and Old Order Mennonite living in the hills of southern Ohio.
She is the author of Water My Soul, Many Lighted Windows and Gathering of Sisters. Weaver has written for Family Life, Ladies Journal, Young Companion, and other magazines for Amish and Old Order Mennonite
groups. Before her three children were born she also taught school. Her hobbies
are gardening and writing.
